I might not have anything to say

I plan on trying to blog daily or every other day.  Just to review my mind set day to day.

Today I’m insanely tired.  I didn’t sleep much last night.  Garren and I had a long discussion.  I won’t get into details because I’m not all about putting business where it doesn’t belong.  So I’ll just say that we were up late.  Poor guy had to get up earlier than me and work later than me 😦 I’m really happy for his new job, I think it’s a good thing, but sometimes it really sucks.  Like now.

Which leads me to a blog topic.  Men and emotions.  I find, in my personal experiences, that men are either overly sensitive or not sensitive enough.  I’m not down with a guy that cries all the time.  I cry enough for the both of us.  I’m not saying it’s NOT ok for men to cry.  It most definitely is.  However, there is such thing as too much crying.  Depending on my emotional state, I can cry anywhere from once a week, which is probably average,  to several days in a row.  It’s good to acknowledge your emotions, feel them, release them, and move forward.  Sometimes it take more than one good cry.

Garren is very stoic.  Which can leave me frustrated.  Sometimes I just need a fucking hug.  Not when I’m crying, “do you want a hug”?  Are you fucking stupid?! Yes.  I want a hug.  Don’t be moronic.  ALL women would want to hug.  Not to mention, we’ve been together for 2 years.  Stop being an asshole and hug me and don’t ask asinine questions.  But for the most part, when it comes down to it, and I’m really upset, he’s pretty caring.  I can definitely let my emotions get the best of me.

I’m going to Segway this just blabber aimlessly.

I feel that as I’ve aged, I’ve come to understand myself and my emotions a lot better.  When I was younger, I felt very out of touch with myself.  I was very negative.  Every day was a “bad” day.  Now, every day I work to make it a good day.  And if it was a “bad” day, I move forward.

I’ve always had a pretty bad temper.  I’ve also learned that anger is a very easy emotion to feel.  It “protects” you.  But it’s a weak emotion.  This kind of leads me back to my mention of men and emotions. Garren sees emotions in terms of black and white.  Sometimes when I’m sad, irritated, hurt, Garren classifies all of those are mad.  But I’m rarely mad.  I’ve tried to explain that to him, but he doesn’t seem to understand or thinks I’m lying.  I’m not quite sure how to make him understand.

That being said, I’m a much happier person than I used to be.  Life is always good.  If you’re alive, it’s good.  Every experience you have is teaching you to grow as a person.  And your response either aids or hinders your growth.  Even if it hinders, you’ll be presented with the opportunity to learn again.  That’s all life is.

That being said, it’s all a learning process.  And I’m dealing with it right now.  This is the 2nd place I’ve lived away from home.  I lived near my hometown for 26 years.  Starting over is one thing.  Starting over with someone else, my boyfriend, is another.  We only have each other to hang out with.  I’ve made some friends at work, but he mainly works by himself.  We’re not used to spending so much time together.  I love living with him and coming home to him.  But it was nice when we had our own lives.  It has made me realize how grateful I am for him, as much time as we spend together now, we definitely don’t fight every day.  We’ve lived here for 3 months and it’s been great.  We love the town we live in.  We like our jobs.  All in all, it’s good 🙂  It’s just a learning process.  A tough one! But I’m up for the challenge.


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